Status Quo

I have not written in a long while. To be truthful, I have not felt like saying much as I feel that nothing has really changed. I should clarify that, nothing has changed in our society. My personal life has changed. My children had a great summer of travel and visiting with family. My daughter has started college and my son is now in 4th grade. I am happy in my life. However, I think about how we have squandered an opportunity to address the gun issues and violence in our society. We recently saw the massacre at the Navy Yard in D.C. and again the talking heads proclaimed that we need change blah, blah, blah. I don't want to sound cold, but if the murder of 20 little kids in their classroom did not prompt us to act then what will? I am at a loss, I feel like we have lost our way and there is no way back. How do we let the murder of a classroom of children and their teachers go without really examining our society and our values? I find myself getting more and more angry and at the same time I feel like nothing I do can make a difference. I have begun to think that perhaps my family and I should not live in the US. I am not naïve, I understand that bad things happen everywhere in this world, but we have refused to address any issues that would help us curb the violence. We do not see these mass shootings happening on a monthly  basis in other countries. Why us? What do we need to do to stop this? It will require a lot more action than just gun control. We need to address mental health, violence, parental accountability and many more things, but we have not. I am frustrated and disappointed. I think of the families who have lost loved ones to senseless gun violence and wonder how horrible it must be for them to see that nothing has been done to address the epidemic of gun violence in this country. So, that is why I have not written, nothing has changed.

Six Months Ago Today

So, six months ago today we watched in horror as the events at Sandy Hook Elementary unfolded. Has anything changed since then? Can I write about how we as a nation made meaningful changes to our guns laws? The answer is no. We have failed these children and their teachers. The outrage and grief that we all felt has not been enough to prompt us into taking simple steps such as universal background checks. I need someone to help me understand. I need to know who can stand up and argue that everyone has the right to go out and instantly get a gun even if they have a history of: mental illness, domestic violence, a criminal record or have had issues with substance abuse. I have family members who own guns and they support the idea of background checks and a waiting period. The idea is not to deny people the right to own a gun, but to deny those who have not been stable, law abiding members of our society the right to own a guns. I look at the faces of those who died at Sandy Hook and wonder how their families can cope with such a loss. I hope and pray that no one in my family ever has to go through what these families are experiencing. We as members of this society have an obligation to do something to push for change in our nation's gun and mental health laws. I hold my breath knowing that the next Sandy Hook will happen, it's just a matter of time. I hate to put that out there, but I think we all know it's true and that is an awful feeling.

Hard to Believe....

Help me understand.....

I took this picture of my son last April during a trip to Haifa, Israel. He is totally innocent, and blissfully unaware of the problems in the world. I only wish that I could shield him from the horrible things that seem to happen daily, but he is growing up and becoming more aware of the news and despite my efforts to protect him, he will want answers. When the Sandy Hook shooting occurred my husband and I decided not to talk to him about it unless he asked. Well, now we have had a terrible bombing in Boston, and he has seen the news and wants to know what has happened and more importantly, why would someone hurt people. Good question.

This week has been horrible for several reasons. First, was the terrible events in Boston, and the horrible images we saw on TV of the wounded. The news that 3 people lost their lives one of whom was just 8, same age as my son. Then to add salt to the wound we have an ineffective senate vote against passing a law that would require universal background checks for anyone buying a gun. Although approx. 80% of Americans support universal background checks our elected politicians felt that it was more important to bow down to the gun manufactures and NRA than to vote for what the majority of Americans of both parties want. I am sick and I am sad as I know that we will see another Sandy Hook, and we will all be appalled, but when we had the chance to take meaningful steps our elected politicians chose to support the NRA and the gun manufacturers over:

1. Charlotte Bacon (DOB 2/22/06)
2. Daniel Barden (9/25/05)
3. Rachel Davino (7/17/83)
4. Olivia Engel (7/18/06)
5. Josephine Gay (12/11/05)
6. Ana M. Marquez-Greene (4/4/06)
7. Dylan Hockley (3/8/06)
8. Dawn Hocksprung (6/28/65)
9. Madeleine F. Hsu (7/10/06)
10. Catherine V. Hubbard (6/8/06)
11. Chase Kowalski (10/31/05)
12. Jesse Lewis (6/30/06)
13. James Mattioli (3/22/06)
14. Grace McDonnell (11/04/05)
15. AnneMarie Murphy (07/25/60)
16. Emilie Parker (5/12/06)
17. Jack Pinto (5/6/06)
18. Noah Pozner (11/20/06)
19. Caroline Previdi (9/7/06)
20. Jessica Rekos (5/10/06)
21. Avielle Richman (10/17/06)
22. Lauren Russeau (6/1982)
23. Mary Sherlach (2/11/56)
24. Victoria Soto (11/4/85)
25. Benjamin Wheeler (9/12/06)
26. Allison N. Wyatt (7/3/06)

I want all of those who chose to vote against universal background checks to know that they have the blood of future murder victims on their hands. How would they feel if they had their child, sister, daughter, son, mother or father murdered?

So, help me understand... we can shut down an entire city to hunt a terrorist yet we cannot  pass a law that would require a 5 min background check to ensure that the wrong people do not acquire a gun. Like I said it's been a terrible week.




 

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Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/list-conn-school-shooting-victims-names-released-article-1.1221098#ixzz2Qx5JuF8O

Disappointed

This picture is part of a series I took of my son playing along the shore of the Mediterranean last spring. I love it because he was blissfully unaware of me photographing him, and it captures him simply enjoying a moment in time. I am glad that he has a sense of innocence and is generally unaware of the serious issues that we adults face. I see that the assault weapons ban has essentially bitten the dust so to speak. We no longer have a government that is for the people and by the people, what we now have is a government for special interest groups and by special interest groups (NRA). I am sad that my son and every other child in this country is not safe at school, on the playground or simply walking down the street. Their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is secondary to the right of selfish individuals who demand ownership of military assault type weapons and who refuse any sort of dialogue on gun control. I want to be crystal clear on this I believe and support the 2nd Amendment however, I do believe that we need to control what types of weapons a person can own and the size of the magazines that are sold. Many of my family members own guns, and have made it clear that they would be more than willing to live with a ban on certain types of weapons, if it would make our society safer. I think a great first step would be an extensive background check system that links date on such things as mental health records, history of substance abuse, domestic violence and criminal background. Even if we could accomplish that piece then maybe some lives would be saved. Perhaps we need to look at people renewing their gun license after a period of time as they do in some countries. Finally, a huge piece of this is our failings as a society to deal with mental health issues. We need to look at how we treat people and how to address their ongoing care. I know I am repeating what many have said since Newtown, but it needs to be said over and over until we can reach some sort of compromise. I would hate for those 20 children to have died for nothing, and worse yet, to witness another incident where children die at the hands of someone who should never had access to guns.

Pay It forward

So, I was on my way to work Friday morning at about 6 am when I went through the Tim Horton's drive thru. I was teaching an orientation class at work that day and figured that I'd pick up some donuts for everyone and a coffee for myself. I ordered, and then drove up to the window where the young woman told me that my order was paid for by the person in front of me. My order was about $8 and I have to admit that it really made my day. I was told by the girls at the drive thru that the person who paid for my order said to "pay it forward."

I waited by the window for the next person and just my luck no one came! So, tomorrow I am working on a volunteer project with my work and I am determined to pay it forward so that someone else can feel like I did that morning. It was a small gesture, but it made my day. It reminded me that there are nice people in this world who do decent things for no reason other than to be kind. So, even though no one reads this blog and I simply do it to put my thoughts into writing, I wish this person the best as their gesture made me remember how important it is to stop and do something for some one else.

3 Months Ago

Let us remember what happened on December 14, 2012 at Sandy Hook and keep the victims and their families in our thoughts and prayers.

Still in Shock

So, tomorrow will be three months since the Sandy Hook massacre, and I still feel such a crushing sense of despair over the loss of the 20 children and 6 teachers that I still cry over their horrible deaths. I often wonder if I am a bit crazy and if anyone else feels this way. I watch the politicians make feeble attempts at best to try to pass some sort of watered down gun control and I am getting increasingly more frustrated by the lack of real action. Why are we afraid to stand up to the NRA? I do not think that the 2nd Amendment should be over turned however, I do believe that we need to have a strict background check system and a limit to which types of guns an individual can own. Just because we have the right to bear arms does not mean that every person is of sound mind to do so. I want to know why the right to bear arms supersedes the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that those 26 will not get to enjoy because they were murdered by a young man who had free access to guns.  When will we decide that our children and families are more important that letting people have unlimited access to guns? I expected more from this country. We are a nation of people who get things done and who have been able to work together to achieve great things yet, our children are getting gunned down in school, at home, in the streets and on their playgrounds. Please lets try to listen to each other and find some common ground.

A whole Year

March 8th marked the one year anniversary of my cousin Marc's death. I wanted to post this picture of my daughter, Karina in Jerusalem last spring by the candle that we lit in Marc's memory. I think of my Aunt and Uncle and of his wife and three small children and hope that they can find peace. As for me, I am sad that our close knit family lost someone who never failed to entertain with his stories and sharp wit. We miss you Marc and hope you are at peace.

Tired of Extremes

I tend to read a lot of news and do a good job of keeping up with what's happening around the world. I sometimes question myself as to why I bother because the news just frustrates me.  I should be specific, the news in the US frustrates me. I grew up in the US, and then moved to Canada when I was 24. I spent the next 20 years there and then moved my husband and children back to the US 4 years ago due to family considerations. Why am I telling you this? My time in Canada allowed me to get the perspective of living outside the US and although Canada and the US share similarities they are quite different. Canadians hate to be compared to Americans, and most Americans don't really care what happens north of the border. One of the things I miss the most is the lack of extremes in Canada. It seems that we live in a time when Ronald Reagan is considered too liberal for many on the right. How did we get here? When did both sides move so far apart that we can no longer have any sensible dialogue about important issues. Over the past year we have heard outrageous comments about everything from rape, to immigration and to prenatal screenings to name a few. Believe me I could go on.  
Today I saw an article which described how the father of Jesse Lewis, one of the children murdered at Sandy Hook, was heckled by gun rights advocates while speaking at an open forum on gun control. How much more disrespectful can you get? I am so sad for this man who has just suffered the loss of his son. He has the courage to come forward to speak out and share his opinion and these people cannot give him the respect to voice his opinion. I may not like guns and may not agree with gun rights advocates, but they have every right to their opinion and to voice it without being belittled or heckled. This is what I mean by extremes. When will we as a nation start to actively listen to each other and stop shouting each other down?  As I sit here tonight writing this, and making dinner for my family I am saddened that the parents of the Sandy Hook victims cannot be at home doing the same with their children. Some of them have courageously stood up to voice their opinion on gun control and this is how they are treated. Shame on those who did this. I wonder how these people would feel if their son or daughter was shot dead in their classroom and they had to go and identify their children? I wonder how they would like it if they had to see their children's little bodies full of bullet holes, or in the case of Noah Pozner, have half their jaw missing? I just don't know how we will solve the multitude of problems in this country if we cannot listen to each other.

Tough Questions

My son asked me the other day why people do and say mean things. As I have posted before, I have been deeply impacted by the loss of the children and teachers at Sandy Hook. That horrible event has prompted me to reexamine a lot of things especially how I talk to my children. My son had some trouble on the bus with two older students giving him a hard time. Luckily, his school has done an excellent job of dealing with this quickly and he is once again, comfortable on the bus. This brings me to my point. We as parents have to start looking at our children and realizing that they are not perfect, and that they may be bullies. I have heard parents say "well I was bullied in school and I turned out OK" this is not an acceptable reason to allow our children to hurt and be hurt by other kids.  We as parents need to address this with our children and teach them that hurting others and bullying is unacceptable. The tragedy at Sandy Hook was something beyond most people's comprehension, but we can do little things to make our schools better and safer. let's start by being engaged with our kids and talking to them so that they understand what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

In the wake of Sandy Hook everyone is talking about what they can do, gun control, tackling mental health issues and the like. I am included in this. I have been trying to sort out what I can do to make our nation safer for our kids, but what we really need to do is start with out own families. These are things that we can do, and should be doing as parents. There seems to be an awful lot of parents out there who don't put the time in with their kids. My husband and I work full time because we have to, but that does not mean I get a free pass on my parenting responsibilities. Just because I am at work for 40 hours a week does not excuse my children from being respectful, kind and decent human beings. It also does not excuse me for being aware of what shows my children watch and what video games they play. We need to know what our kids are up to and parent them. So, to all the parents out there who are too tired to put the time in with their kids I ask you, please make the time, and teach them to be respectful of others and kind. This is one small way we can make our schools, towns and country a better place.

Mean Season

     So, we have entered the mean season. It is one month ago today that the Sandy Hook shooting happened, and we are starting to see some of the parents of the victims begin to speak out about gun control and to organize. I am not expert on grief and thankfully have not had to grieve the loss of a child, but some people have said that grief begins to turn to anger and this is where some of these parents are at now. I call this the mean season as I had read an article in which Veronique Pozner, mother of Noah Pozner, had questioned why the White House had not reached out to the parents of the sandy Hook victims for their input. Nor has the White House kept these families in the loop as far as what action items they were considering.  At the end of the article people could leave comments and I saw quite a few mean spirited and downright nasty comments aimed at Ms. Pozner. People wanted to know what right she had to be kept apprised of what the White House was doing and so on.

     I am disgusted that we can no longer have any type of dialogue in the this country without it dissolving into name calling and nastiness.  What ever happened to "agree to disagree?" This woman lost her son in a horrible way, and has been very vocal as to what condition his body was in so that people can have an idea of what a semi automatic gun can do to a little body. To all those who say she has no right I will say to you that I hope you never have to identify your 6 year old child and see him or her with half of their face missing and their body riddled with bullet holes. Unfortunately this woman and all of the other parents who lost children that day have earned to right to say whatever they need to and we need to listen. For those of you who feel that it is more important to own semiautomatic weapons and high output magazines you too are entitled to your opinion.  I am asking that we all stop and remember that it's OK to have an opinion, but it's not OK to name call and belittle those who hold different views than ours. This nastiness has permeated politics and public discourse as of late and it's time we stop, think about what we saying and quite frankly, be kind. I am heartbroken over Sandy Hook, and can not imagine the crushing grief that these families must be experiencing so, please be kind, listen to people and do not make snide or nasty comments just because you do not agree with some one's opinion. Let's end the mean season.

Are We There Yet?

Yes, I'm going to ask "are we there yet?" with gun control and mental health legislation. Yesterday, Vice President Biden met with the NRA and as imagined the NRA refused to consider any type of common sense gun control legislation. The Huffington Post asked who the NRA is truly serving, it's members or the gun and ammunition makers. This is a good question as most NRA members (74%) would support universal background checks. Yet, the NRA will not. Once again, big business will triumph over the rights of people. Are we angry enough yet? Do we need more little children butchered in their classroom? Or are we just so selfish that we feel as long as it does not happen to us personally that it does not warrant our attention? I watch my 8 yr old go off to school each day, and since December 14th I watch with a heightened level of anxiety. The children and teachers who where murdered where other people's children, sisters, brothers and mothers. I can guarantee that those parents said goodbye to their children on Friday December 14th just like many of us do each day, without a worry, and assuming that they would see their children after school.

So, are we there yet? Are we going to sit here and be upset, but move on to the next news story or are we going to look for ways to get involved. I understand that most of us work and have busy lives, but a large part of what makes my life busy is raising my children. There are 20 sets of parents out there who do not have that privilege anymore. We need to decide how we can get involved and we need to do something. I for one will not let the death of those children and teachers be in vain.


Here a couple suggestions:

http://www.demandaplan.org/

http://americansforresponsiblesolutions.org/

Haifa

Yesterday my daughter called me at work to tell me that our 11 yr old golden, Haifa, was not acting like her normal self. She is getting older and I see her slowing down, but that does not make it any easier to watch her decline. She's not sick, but just getting older. We got her back when my daughter, Karina was 5, she just turned 17. Haifa has been with us on all of our adventures whether it was camping at Golden Ears, moving from Vancouver to White Rock and then from White Rock all the way across the US back to WNY. She rode in the Penske truck with my husband the whole way. She has always been there to cheer us up share our happy moments and comfort us in our sad moments. She seems better today, but I know deep down that my dear companion is tired and slowing down and I just wanted to say a little something about this wonderful dog who has always been game for whatever adventures we chose to embark upon.

Jaffo

I love this picture which I took in Jaffo in April 2012.

Where Do We Start?

My question is where do we start?

I am new to the blogging thing, and as you can see my first two posts where about one of the Newtown victims, Noah Pozner. I found that Noah's expressive face has just stayed with me and I attribute that to the fact that he and my son look a lot alike. I cannot imagine the crushing grief that the families of the victims feel. I grieve for them and for the children that they lost. While reading about Noah I came across a blog that his grandmother has for bread baking called, Farine

www.farine-mc.com/. I have found her posts beautifully written, emotional and so touching. She has written about Noah and shared photos of him so that we too can get a glimpse of who this little boy was. I mention this because by reading her posts about Noah we are reminded of the heartbreak that these families are going through and in turn, it may prompt us to use our anger and despair at this loss of life to demand change.

 

So, that is why I ask....where do we start? I am sad, heartbroken and angry that this senseless act happened, and may very well happen again unless we make a collective effort to demand changes to our gun laws, and our broken mental health system. As parents we have to do our own soul searching and decide that we will make sure that we are taking an active role in monitoring what our children are watching and what video games they're playing. This has to be an across the board effort to make change. We cannot just demand gun control as many have, but we need to look at all options. My hope is that we can agree to disagree, but ultimately come to some common consensus as to how we can change our world. This is not the type of world that I want my children to have to grow up in. I do not like being afraid to send my children to school. So again...where do we start and are we willing to make sacrifices so that another Newtown does not happen?

Tacos for Noah

I found this on a site while reading about Noah Pozner:
“Noah’s picture just stuck with me for some reason,” Seth Galena tells me over the phone. “Noah,” of course, is Noah Pozner, the six year-old Jewish boy who was the youngest victim of last Friday’s massacre at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. He continues, “I actually ended up posting a picture of him on my office cork board.”
But Galena, who lives in New York City, wanted to do more. During the eulogy Noah’s mother gave Monday she mentioned how much he loved tacos, so much so that he dreamed of working in a taco factory when he grew up. “An idea sparked to create some sort of taco factory online to remember Noah as a sort of way to continue his dream of making tacos for everyone,” Galena said.
So Galena started Tacos for Noah. Both a website and Twitter handle, Tacos for Noah has been busy with activity since Tuesday night when it was launched into the world wide web. Friends and strangers alike have been creating virtual tacos for Noah as a celebration of the little boy’s short life, and in the spirit of perpetuating his innocent dream.

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3 Weeks Ago

It was 3 weeks ago last Friday that 26 lives were snuffed out in the blink of an eye. When this happened people were shocked and outraged and talk turned to finally looking at addressing gun control issues in this country. Well, here we are 3 weeks later and the media has moved on to other stories and most people have moved on as well. What about the parents, sisters, brothers, grandparents and friends of these 26 souls who are struggling to come to terms with the unspeakable? They cannot move on and yet here the rest of are going about our business and getting back to normal. I know that I have shed tears over these children and continue to feel that I must do something to try to make a difference so that we are not sitting here in a month, 6 months or a year after another mass shooting wondering why we never did anything. I wish that I had an answer as to what we can do to make change, I am open to suggestions. I have been haunted by one little boy, Noah Pozner, as he looks a lot like my son. One small thing that I have done is to make sure that I can remember the names of some of the children who died and I have promised myself that I would not utter the name of the perpetrator of this crime. So, like I said I am searching for ways to make sure that these children did not die in vain. I welcome suggestions. Let’s all hope for a peaceful and positive 2013!

 

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